On Motherhood & Sanity


Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

my secret


Part of the Transitions series which looks at the gap between childhood and adolescence 

Friday, July 14, 2017

In case you wanted to complain about how much your job sucks

just sayin'
It's friday. the temptation is there. god knows I feel it. but yeah, it could be worse.... 

Thursday, July 13, 2017

beasts within and the merry go round








Fear, anxiety, vertigo.
A black hole opens inside me with no previous warning.
Just the music from the merry go round reminding me of my demons.
Reminding me of the dark hole at my center where beasts live.
beasts that must be appeased, sang to and distracted,
Beasts with a never ending desire for blood,
my blood.

Night falls. The heavy traffic stops,
and with the silence comes fear.
Maybe she was there all along, but it is only now I can hear her.
Quietly she whispers possibilities into my ear
‘Anything can and will happen.
Any day, any moment can be the last
 of life, as you know it.’

Holding her hand is gratefulness.
For every breath and every mundane routine.
Every memory made and not wasted.
She is dancing to the music of the merry go round.
‘dance’ she sais to me ‘dance while we still have feet and a ground to stand on’

Morning comes with a bitter aftertaste of too much wine
Which I don’t remember tasting.
Coffee and biscuits dipped in a nagging feeling of something left undone,
of lives unlived and dreams that must be forgotten.
Anchors raised, the boat is left to wonder at the mercy of the sea.
No more resistance.

Washed away by the morning tide, all trace of dancing has been erased.
The smell of regret lingers on my fingers like old cigarettes.
I don’t remember what I regret,
but close my eyes and breathe in deep the smell of the sea.
The cool morning breeze mixed with memories wraps around me.
In the distance I can hear the sound of life going about its business,
cleaning dishes or taking out the garbage,
disturbing the silence which is trying to speak to me, to remind me.
Of what? I know not

An ever so light memory of the music lingers in the air
For the most part the day is silent now, the beasts appeased.
They’ll come again unannounced and without prior warning.
In the meantime, and without knowing quite why,
 I get up and keep on dancing

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

behind the parking lot


the beauty living in Panama is that you can bump into this view when you are parking the car...

Sunday, July 9, 2017

light, shadow, color magic


is it me or does it look like lady octopus (on the left) is hugging mr octopus on the right....


Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Morning light






One day = one image. that is the challenge. The key objective of this challenge is not so much to create amazing images, but to take notice. To be mindful of the moment. The hidden magic that lurks in the corners and  usually escape us.

This is an African mask still waiting to be hung next to us at the breakfast table.


Mask + morning light= magic

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

light and coffee



good light and good coffee. what else could we possibly need....

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

on light, kitchens and life changing transitions



This is from our last days in NY last year. I wanted light to be the main focus on the photo I put up  today. I meant to take one, but then came across this one which I love and don't think I've posted yet anywhere. It's part of the Transitions series that I started where I try to capture the subtle but radical change my children are going through. Morphing from children to tweens....  sometime not too far in the distance rebel teens and then adults.   

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

a whatever-whatever challenge

I've decided to start  a whatever-whatever challenge.

Basically, I am barely writing or taking photos anymore, so I am challenging myself to post one photo (or write) every day for the next month, which wont be easy because I have a VERY TIGHT DEADLINE (ain't it always the case) ... (and actually it is what I SHOULD  be doing right now).

I didn't even bother naming the challenge, but really it should be called the get-off-your-butt-and-do-something-else challenge.

If there's something you've been meaning to do, or do more of, this is your chance! jump on the whatever-whatever challenge and join me. Completely random dates,  June 27 to July 26.

 So this is my photo for today. It goes with a long story that I really don't have time to unpack today, but the short version is: this is Rufina (on the right). She joined our family  2 weeks ago, (too soon) after our lovely puppy died. She is 13 weeks old and a mix of Maltese and poodle, (we suspect toy poodle as she is absolutely tiny.)

A few days after her arrival we realized she is completely and utterly deaf.  My  already weak resolve to keep her wavered, but her disability, coupled with her absolutely charming spirit won me over.  So now we are learning dog  sign language (because that apparently IS a thing).

She is a happy carefree dog that is in her head much bigger than in reality, and she attacks my feet (and other non animated objets) with the same fierceness  a puma attacks  a crocodile.  She had however until now been petrified of other dogs. So we engineered  this meet up with another small dog. Initially she would just dart as fast as she could in the opposite direction. But eventually curiosity got the best of her. This is that moment.    Notice the tension (and joy) in her body. Back legs ready to dart if necessary. She rose up to the challenge.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Transitions, March family self portrait



The family self portrait  project started in January 2011. 
I take one portrait of the whole family, myself included, once a month.  
In late 2013 a "ghost" writer joined the initiative and now each photo is accompanied by a poem.
In 2015 the kids started collaborating and introducing their own ideas
...the project has a life of its own

also,
Every family should do this. It's an amazing record of the little things that matter


To see previous months click on the links below:



2017
2016

Thursday, April 6, 2017

african guadalupe

just felt like it

The Virgen del Guadalupe (Lady of Guadalupe) is one of my favorite images in catholicism. It originates from The Madonna of Tepeyac, Tonantzin and is recognized symbol of Catholic Mexicans.  she's obviously not black, that's my personal touch, as are the masai necklaces 

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

family self portrait Memories of Woodstock



The family self portrait  project started in January 2011. 
I take one portrait of the whole family, myself included, once a month.  
In late 2013 a "ghost" writer joined the initiative and now each photo is accompanied by a poem.
In 2015 the kids started collaborating and introducing their own ideas
...the project has a life of its own

also,
Every family should do this. It's an amazing record of the little things that matter


To see previous months click on the links below:


2017
2016