On Motherhood & Sanity


Thursday, December 10, 2015

Day 10: what are some things that 2016 can do whithout


1.   kids fighting over stupid things
2.   the last 4 cookies
3.   the last 2 glasses of wine
4.   the last episode  and Facebook revision before bedtime
5.   school drama
6.   me having to come up with 10 meals a week to the inevitable response of "not that!"
7.   excuses for not going to the gym 'today'
8.   clients who don't realise (or don't care) I'm not on payroll but  get paid by the day
9.   winter temperatures below 0 centigrade (32F)
10. bills
11. bad posture
12. flaky people
13. stress
14. rude comebacks (other's and mine)
15. the flu

Monday, December 7, 2015

November family self portrait, Quogue

Quogue, thanksgiving 2015

Corn rows of clouds hanging, cold
sleight froth crashing. Sand

in toes, balm for our hot heads
(Haiku)

***
The family self portrait  project started in January 2011. 
I take one portrait of the whole family, myself included, once a month.  
In late 2013 a "ghost" writer joined the initiative and now each photo is accompanied by a poem.
In 2015 the kids started collaborating and introducing their own ideas
...the project has a life of its own

also,
Every family should do this. It's an amazing record of the little things that matter


To see previous months click on the links below:


***


Saturday, December 5, 2015

December challenge day 3: one word



Encapsulate the year 2015 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2016 for you? (Gwen Bell)




I've wrecked my brains and the only word I can come up with to encapsulate 2015 is LIFE.

I know it might look like I am cheating, but I feel  that's what went on, life.

Good days, bad days, busy days, lazy days... we fell into a rhythm -not perfect- but good. we had life, we enjoyed life, we struggled with life. we were spared anything that would distract us from life, ordinary, wonderful, everyday life.

For 2016 I have to admit I cheated. I loved back at my posts from previous years and realised that this sense of being on a constant treadmill has been going on for a little too long. so for 2016 I  want my word to be "present". I hope to achieve a sense of being in the moment.  Of enjoyment, balance, lack of expectations (good or bad) just sitting and breathing and enjoying those around me.



Friday, December 4, 2015

December challenge day 1: what was your favourite part

trouble and the princess swimming with the Hong Kong harbour in the background


It was a good  year but my favourite part has to be the visit we did to Asia. the princess was 3 months when we moved to cambodia and trouble was born there, but neither really remembered it, so it was really nice to go back and share it with them. we visited friends in Hong Kong, Vietnam and Laos.










Tuesday, November 10, 2015

For Pebbles & Evey






Muffled drums and heavy head. The procession moves quietly through the street. Windows shut and eyes look away. The heavy silence speaks to our greatest fears. The ultimate defeat.

A single tear. Only one allowed. More would be almost an insult. More would be an attempt to describe what is ultimately indescribable. More would be disrespectful. 

Defeat holds hands with despair.
Hope, shredded, walks just behind them and refuses to acknowledge their presence.
Shattered glass lies on the floor. Remnants of yesterday’s party.
Its quiet echoes pierce my ears and burn holes in my stomach.

But mostly silence.

Jumping onto snow with all your might, yet the protest is futile, the sound of it gets drowned into the vastness. The physical marc destined to melt away and disappear, apparent only to our souls that long for an explanation. Sometimes beg for one.

A silence so loud it’s almost deafening.

And all the while a quiet thump can be heard just underneath it.
Regular and irreverent. Defiant. The unperturbed rhythm feels imagined.

It can’t be. It can’t possibly.

Quiet and subtle, yet somehow it envelopes the untold howls of pain.
It is the beat of the heart as life goes on completely irreverent to the tragedy. Almost mocking it.

At the end of the procession, behind all the turmoil, little feet walk to its rhythm.

Friday, October 9, 2015

keeping it 100


when you are doing a group photo, especially if there are kids involved,  there is always one that 'ruins' it. a funny face or a grumpy face. these are things that you have to learn to deal with. but what if you were to turn it around? what if everyone had to do that  (and a couple 'ruined' it by keeping their  normal faces).  For some reason love this photo


double click on image to enlarge


Thursday, August 13, 2015

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Development Broke a Piece of me


I recently wrote a piece for The Guardian's Development Network Secret Aid Worker Series. It's based on  another piece I wrote on this blog a while back, but having had the support of a good editor, I feel this one has more depth  and is more raw. would love to hear your thoughts.

http://www.theguardian.com/global-development-professionals-network/2015/aug/04/secret-aid-worker-development-work-broke-a-piece-of-me

Monday, June 29, 2015

The market, April Family Self Portrait



click on image to enlarge





Running, panting, heaving
nut bolts cleaving
my mind, no rewind
just time flying
forward and clawing
gnawing burrowing think worms
inside, primed substance
moulded to the inevitable
destiny of the narrative norms.

Jump out of the form
disrupt this feverish flow,
bobbing and weaving
from the hooks randomly raining
down in the blindness of habit, fight
hard with the tyrant of sound bytes,
flip back to a time where smells melted thoughts
into a metaphysical dim sum,
Hong Kong beating the drum.

ghost
***
The family self portrait  project started in January 2011. 
I take one portrait of the whole family, myself included, once a month.  
In late 2013 a "ghost" writer joined the initiative and now each photo is accompanied by a poem.
In 2015 the kids started collaborating and introducing their own ideas
...the project has a life of its own

also,
Every family should do this. It's an amazing record of the little things that matter


To see previous months click on the links below:


***